What Community Organizers Do

First of all...thank you, Lord, for one last opportunity to tee off on that philandering and fear-mongering dirtbag Rudy Giuliani (pictured). Rudy said in his RNC speech last night that he doesn't know what a community organizer does. This, of course, got a big laugh from the almost 100% rich-ass, white crowd. First of all, from where does Rudy Giulani derive the moral authority to question anybody about anything? This is a schmuck whose organizational skills include organizing NYPD and State Patrol escorts for his mistress on the taxpayers' dime. If the Republicans actually put any stock in this "family values" claptrap that they pander to the Christian right with, Rudy would never even make it onto the stage. He'd be up in the cheap seats, next to Levi "fuckin' redneck" Johnston, swapping roofie stories and shocker techniques. Instead, since it was Red Meat Night at the RNC, they decided to trot out Mitt Romney and Rudy, two already despised-and-rejected Republican primary washouts, to show their asses. Mittens was his usual douchey self, leaving a trail of vinegary footprints to and from the podium...but Rudy had a question. So let's answer it.

What do community organizers do? Well, Rudy...do you remember, back in 1988, how George W. Bush used his State of the Union address to urge idealistic young people to step in and fill the gaping void left in social services by Reagan-era budget cuts? That's exactly what Barack Obama did on Chicago's South Side. He went in there and assured workers who had lost their jobs that they were not forgotten. He convinced successful businesspeople to invest in at-risk neighborhoods. He registered tons of voters and invested them in the political process. He offered hope and optimism to people who needed it badly. Obama was, in fact, what Bush himself (with a little help from noted wordsmith Peggy Noonan) referred to as a Point of Light. Now you Republicans...Rudy, Mitt, Sarah, McCain...you go ahead and mock that all you want. Beats the hell out of running on the issues for you guys, that's for damn sure.

But, you know what? Now that I think on it...just wait until November 4. On that day, the Republicans will damn skippy find out first-hand what community organizers do.