Friday, August 31, 2007

Got Juice?

This is either a PR-motivated move by WWE in an effort to outwardly demonstrate that lessons from the Chris Benoit family tragedy are taking hold or a genuine step in the right direction. Given that one of the suspended wrestlers is Randy Orton [pictured, courtesy of AFP], the hottest young heel (bad guy) in the business and a performer currently in the middle of a money-making feud with WWE Champion John Cena, I'm thinking it's the latter. Orton's a throwback to a time when a pro-wrestling heel's job was to get the paying audience to hate every gut in his body. Today's heels are mostly smirking anti-heroes, out for laughs. However, he's also no stranger to the suspended list...though this is his first failed drug test. Hopefully, this suspension will be the equivalent of a forced intervention for Randy and he won't become yet another name on an already too long list of wrestlers dead way too young. In the meantime, if you know anything about WWE wrestling whatsoever, it should take you approximately two seconds to figure out who'll no doubt be taking Orton's place as the number-one WWE title contender.

Yes, but are they tapping their feet while they wait?

As galling as I find the idea of being subjected nightly to all four of the most obnoxious and entitled fanbases in MLB (along with Yankees, Red Sox, and Mets fans) this coming post-season...I'm telling you, I'm starting to like those Cubbies. Provided they successfully get past a big, four-game series at Wrigley against the Dodgers next week, they'll have clear sailing 'til October. The vast majority of their remaining road games are against the dregs of the NL Central which, BTW, is about as dreggy as it gets. If they can take care of business inside The Friendly Confines, they'll head into the post-season as one of those streaky, emotion-fuelled teams that nobody wants a part of in the first round.

Et tu, dumbass? Et tu?

Hey, anything going on this weekend? Anything at all? I'll be posting a Quick Prediction sometime tonight and, I gotta say, this pick is going to be the dictionary definition of a "head vs. heart" decision. Right now, I'm all Luke Skywalker about this particular matchup: "I've got a bad feeling about this." I'm afraid we're going to get lit up on the 'board and I don't know if we can put up the numbers to stay with the 'Boys. Like I said, I'll get back to you.

So, when did Evander Holyfield's plans change from simply winning back one of the heavyweight titles and retiring to unifying the belts? Sure, he can beat Ibragimov...and if he does, he should take that belt back to Fayetteville, GA, hang it on the wall, and spend the rest of his life counting his money and playing with his army of kids. If he decides to go on and fight IBF champ Wladimir Klitschko, he could get killed. Not "killed, ha-ha"...killed, dead. If that fight happens, and it absolutely shouldn't, I want a notoriously quick-stopping, Richard Steele-like referee in the ring as the third man. Preferably hopped up on Jolt Cola and Mountain Dew. I'm serious. We're talking serious "Apollo Creed vs. Ivan Drago" potential here.

Finally, is it just me or does Michael Douglas...

...look these days like he's starring in The Zell Miller Story?
[Pic courtesy of]

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