Friday, August 10, 2007

It's So Hot, I'm Not Wearing Any _______

Seriously. So make sure you knock first. This heat is killer.

"The headline was repulsive to every University of Georgia Bulldog fan who lives in Oglethorpe County." [Except, of course, to the ones who can take an effing JOKE.]

Remember my "friends" at the Barrow BullCrap blog? Never mind.

While I'm sorry for the family's loss, tell me this headline from the ABH doesn't make it sound like this guy was devoured on some savanna in Central America.

Kyle Busch and Tony Stewart are becoming teammates. I'll fess up. I freaking love Kyle Busch. Number one, I love how he drives the wheels off a car...but I also love him the way I love a good pro-wrestling "heel." Basically, I just love how most NASCAR fans hate his ever-loving guts. He pouts, he whines, he looks like a total dweeb...and he's fast as hell. When he wins a race, his victory-lane interviews are drowned out by boos. Just once, I'd love to see him pull a Ric Flair and scream, "YOU PEOPLE...SHUT. YOUR. MOUTHS!" Here's hoping that next season, Kyle's primary sponsor is Tampax Tampons and that he puts a gigantic "Hillary For President" logo on his hood...and that he runs away with the championship. Oh...and that he gives Dale Jr. a folding steel chair upside the head at the NASCAR year-end banquet. That'll show 'em.

Are you down with "Chocolate Rain" yet? There's still room on the bandwagon.

If the front-office could make the money work, the Braves could do a helluva lot worse than pick up David "Boomer" Wells as a late-season rental to prop up the back end of the rotation. That 10-5 postseason record (with an ERA of 3.17) is awful tempting. I don't know that the fiery, raunchy "Boomer" would be a good fit in the Braves vanilla clubhouse, though...or if they could stock the post-game spread with enough hot wings to sustain both he and Bob Wickman.

Finally, Mitt Romney counts off his many stances on abortion
as a worried aide in the background wonders if his emotion chip
is inserted and activated. [Mitt pic courtesy of AP]


18 wheels of love said...

It's like Homer says, "Roads are like pants, just a suggestion."

I caught the game yesterday while working but I'm still uber-pissed about Wednesday's game where Smoltz did exactly what he needed to do and we manage to load the fucking bases with no outs. And of course, Mr. Clutch with his .215 average grounds out for a game-ending double play. Everyone knows Andruw is having an off year, but the guy has never really hit much for average anyway. I think since we didn't trade him at the deadline, I'm thinking that we might have a shot at signing him at a substancial hometown discount.

I really like the idea of having David Wells at the end of the rotation because despite his Yankee past, I've always dug his "Kruk-iness." Speaking of, how sad was it that Rod Beck died? I like my baseball players fat, outta shape, with a brat in one hand and a beer in the other. And they gotta be smoking a cig of some type. God bless Mark Grace.

I'd prolly give Mittens a chance if he makes Bill Paxton and Harry Dean Stanton Cabinet posts. Love the wacky Mormons, even the fictional ones.

Mike-El said...

I stomped around the house cussing under my breath for a half-hour after that Wednesday night game. This team is going to give me another freaking heart attack.

At spring training, Beck used to invite fans into the Winnebago he was living out of for the month to pound some beers and shoot the breeze. He was badass out there.

rusty said...

Some friends and I have had fun trading conspiracy theories by email about the Barrow blog. I'd bet they could have avoided most of the flack they got if they'd just used the word "blogroll" instead of "friends" to describe their links list.

Anonymous said...

When Charles Nelson Rielly died a few months ago (he of match game fame) all I could think of was that awesome pipe he had (God knows what was in it) and the fact that he was the only guy in the world who could hang with Paul Lynne for one liners on day time TV.

I Think Mitt's lost touch with reality. He's going around comparing being in the military to serving on his campaign staff as equally patriotic.

Keep up the good work, Mike.

Mike-El said...

"I Think Mitt's lost touch with reality. He's going around comparing being in the military to serving on his campaign staff as equally patriotic."

Funny how pliable those attitudes are when it comes to your own kids, isn't it? Just ask Dan Quayle...remember how he said he'd get his daughter an abortion if she wanted one?

"Keep up the good work, Mike."

Muchos graciolas!