Miss South Cackalacky, Rizzepresentin'!

Can you believe that one-fifth of all Americans can't find their home country on a map? Can you believe that one of those one-fifth got called upon to explain the phenomenon at the Miss Teen USA pageant? And you will see nothing funnier this weekend than her response. I particularly loved how she kept trying to reel it back in by name-dropping "the Eye-Rack." She should've just stuck to her original, simple answer: "Some people out there in our nation don't have maps."

And, honestly, I know it's easy to dogpile this poor girl...and there, but for the grace, goes whatever hapless Stepford Sorority Suzie from Georgia was competeting...but they do drills with their "pageant consultants" on these stupid questions. Nutting up is simply Choke City. Plus, is there more of a 3-1 hanging curveball than a question about literacy and education in the US? She shoulda smoked it deep into the cheap seats.